Saturday, December 16, 2006
In a stunning turn of events, PZ Myearshertz, of the unspellable last name and blog title, after trailing for most of the last day of voting in the Weblog Awards for Best Science Blog to his nearest competitor, the Bad-assed Astronomer, Phil Plait (as if we believe that's not an alias), suddenly and suspiciously eked out a 230 vote win in the final hours of voting. Representing a mere 1.236559139785 percent of the ballots out of a surprisingly even total of 18,600 cast, the narrowness of the victory, coupled with certain other suspicious activity, has led to a swirl of charges. Veteran poll watcher, Karol Wojtyla, noted that, just yesterday, Professor Mieers was known to be loudly attempting to have his soul damned to hell, prompting charges that, instead of a making a statement about his atheistic beliefs, Professor Myearz was, in fact, striking a Mephastophelean deal for the extra votes he needed at the end.
We Demand a Recount!!!
Not so much because of any real concern about the outcome but because of several practical benefits that will flow from keeping this whole thing up in the air:
Don't forget folks, if you believe in truth, justice and the American way, write your Congressperson and demand that they clean up the corruption in Washington. Otherwise, write the Weblog Awards and stir up as much trouble as you can!a) We get to see the continuation of the pathetic, but amusing, whining of two alleged adults involved in the soapiest of Geek tragedies;
b) The potential economic benefits flowing from the transfer of several large bribes coming from the various wings of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy, particularly the Clement Attlee "brook no dessert" camp currently in a steel cage of death match with the Anthony Eden "appetizer" faction;
c) Perhaps most importantly, maybe, if the rest of us play our cards just right, we can chivvy them into a nude mud wrestling match for the inevitable sequel to Borat.
"If Phil, by some ungodly miracle and happenstance, should win: I will write a similar article that singles out the Bad Astronomer's readership for far, far greater praise than they deserve. My extra penalty: I will pose for the SkepDudes calendar. That last was part of my new cunning plan—I am committed now. If I lose, this body will be in the calendar, and I assure you, people opening it to that month will wonder if that is a man or a mollusc. Everyone's going to vote for me now, lest that photograph ever be made. Mwuhahahahaha!"
His evil plan worked. :)
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