Thoughts in a Haystack

From the bedroom to the boardroom, from the classroom to the war zone, Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is changing lives every day. ... NVC is now being taught in corporations, classrooms, prisons and mediation centers around the globe. And it is affecting cultural shifts as institutions, corporations and governments integrate NVC consciousness into their organizational structures and their approach to leadership.

The 10-day program Rosenberg personally teaches would cost about $3,000, but Rosenberg decided to make a video and DVD version that is much less expensive and easier for people to access.

According to Dr. Rosenberg's Center for Non-Violent Communication's (NVC) web site, the elements of his program include:

• Honestly expressing how I am and what I would like without using blame, criticism or demands.
• Empathetically receiving how another is and what he/she would like without hearing blame, criticism or demands. Whether expressing or receiving, NVC focuses our attention on four pieces of information:
• Observations -- Objectively describing what is going on without using evaluation, moralistic judgment, interpretation or diagnosis.
• Feelings -- Saying how you feel (emotions and body sensations) about what you have observed without assigning blame.
• Needs -- The basic human needs that are or not being met and are the source of feelings.
• Requests -- Clear request for actions that can meet needs.

[I]f you say, "It really ticks me off when you leave dishes in the sink" you are probably not going to get the reaction you want.

[U]sing the elements of non-violent communication, you would first observe the dirty dishes in the sink without blaming anyone. Brownell said you could share your feelings by saying, "I feel the need to have and value a clean kitchen." In this manner, you are merely observing and sharing your feelings and needs. And, then you make the request. "Would you be willing to put the dishes in the dishwasher?" So, the request is made without judging or attacking anyone, Brownell said.

"For me, this process teaches you how to observe without evaluating and how to express your feelings. Sometimes people focus on 'I think this way. . .' and we don't know how to talk about how we feel when our needs are not being met," Brownell said.

There seems to be gobbledegook on my computer screen. I feel the need to have and value a computer screen free of gobbledegook. Would you be willing to avoid putting gobbledegook in places where it might show up on my computer screen? Thank you so much!