Saturday, April 14, 2007

 

Irony Meter Alert!


Please, everyone, move in a calm and orderly manner to your nearest designated shelters!

The Department of Homeland Insecurity has just announced that, in an apparent terrorist plot, an attempt has been made to cause irony meters across America to explode violently.

In a nefarious scheme, an unknown group has simulated a posting at the Discovery Institute's blog, Evolution News & Views, that will cause even the most sophisticated irony meters on the market today to fail catastrophically.

This fake statement actually has the Discovery Institute contending that it does not preach "a religious message masked in a capsule of pseudoscience," despite its recent wrangle with the Pope over the correct theological position to take on science and its attempt to tell God how to run the universe.

Experts say that, if properly tuned and maintained, most irony meters manufactured in America in the last 10 years can survive such an assault on their circuits. However, the attack does not stop there and experts agree that the simultaneous absorption of the effects of the following statement will cause all known systems to go into an uncontrolled chain reaction:

Pure and undefiled science according [to] SMU is to ridicule minority viewpoints and show disrespect to your opponents.
The irony of any group complaining about being treated with "disrespect" that itself consistently calls anyone and everyone who supports modern evolutionary theory "Darwinists" and, in turn, alleges that "Darwinism" supports eugenics, Nazism and every other evil they can think of, is so massive that it threatens to collapse into a black hole of irony, destroying the entire Earth!

You should be hearing the early warning sirens any moment now ...

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