Thoughts in a Haystack

Arrrghh!

I missed what well might have been the best show on television this season!

It had everything! Drama, comedy, pathos, slapstick, game show suspense ... it had it all!

Of course, I 'm talking about the Values Voter Presidential Debate!

Thanks to Janet L. Folger, president of Faith2Action and one of the questioners at the debate, we have the questions asked by, among others, Phyllis Schlafly, Mat Staver, Rick Scarborough, Richard Thompson and "Judge" Roy Bean ... er ... Moore.

Here are some of my favorites:

Tom DeRosa, president of Creation Studies Institute:
Today, as in the past, academic freedom has been threatened when questioning the theory of evolution as in the case of Iowa State Astronomer Guillermo Gonzalez. His tenure was denied because of his work in Intelligent Design this May 2007. Censoring alternative theories and punishing those who hold them, dogmatic indoctrination has replaced scientific methods of inquiry. Will your office support and encourage a more open approach to education in the presentation of scientific facts that contradict the theory of evolution?

So much for the idea that it was unfair to ask the question if the candidates believed in evolution in an earlier debate.

Buddy Smith, American Family Association:
Recently a federal judge ordered the Indiana Legislature to censor their prayers. Specifically, the federal judge ordered the Indiana Legislature to never allow anyone to offer an invocation prayer in Jesus' name. Will you, as president, consider impeachment a possible remedy for this judicial activism?

Um ... Presidents don't impeach. And who are you calling an activist judge, given the fact that he or she was following Supreme Court precedent? But other than that, the question was fine ... lunacy. But I love the name, Mr. Smith!

Phyllis Schlafly, Eagle Forum:
At President Bush's press conference in Canada last month, Fox News asked him this question: "Can you say today that the Security and Prosperity Partnership is NOT a prelude to a North American Union, similar to a European Union?" Bush did NOT deny that goal; he just ridiculed the question. Will you assure us that you will abolish all plans to promote the economic integration of North America, which consists of open borders among the United States, Canada and Mexico?

Well, there's your problem Phyllis! Instead of asking Bush and the candidates about crazy stuff, you should've been trying to find out if they will be willing to shoot down the black helicopters from the U.N.!

And how could I end without a whopping dollop of paranoia from Judge Roy?

Roy Moore, the Foundation for Moral Law:
Do you support the NAFTA Superhighway presently under construction from Mexico to Canada, portions of which shall be under foreign control?

So that's what all those black helicopters have been doing! Bringing in prefabricated highway sections!

An entire auditorium full of moonbeams must have been a sight!
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