Thoughts in a Haystack

Sometimes something comes along that is so crack-brained but which is said with such confidence and comes laden with allegations of truthiness rendered in such sincere tones that it cannot but cause physical pain. Take this opus by one Patrick Cooke, the editor / author of The Bible UFO Connection as an example. Cooke describes himself, in escalating terms, as an author, publisher (somehow that follows), an eschatologist, an "autonomous theologian," and a "nontraditional scholar." It is fair to say that those last two are giveaways.

UFOs in ancient writings, the historical record, and our modern skies, give undeniable and conclusive testimony to the constant presence of a civilization populating our skies, yet keeping their distance. ...

An analysis of the evidence should lead to the logical conclusion that the powerful gods of ancient record, the advanced beings who left incredible technological evidence scattered all over the planet, and the obvious highly advanced technological power witnessed in the awe-inspiring actions of unidentified flying objects in our skies, must be connected.

Ow.

Many claim violent encounters, satanic control, government collusion, and impending doom, or enslavement from the beings in these UFOs, but the evidence is weak, and assuredly blown out of proportion by the media and the "evil alien" advocates. A plethora of movies, books, documentaries, television series, and websites have worked well to keep the UFO sacrificial fires hot. The lovable character in the movie "ET" may be phoning home, but most people believe he is really calling in the coordinates for an "Independence Day" style invasion. ...

If you believe in an alien race, separate from God and out of his control, and that alien race is setting the planet up for an invasion, or that Satan is in control of UFOs and using them to deceive us, then you must admit God is trying to confuse us, at best, or he is deceiving us, at worst. But, if these are the vehicles of the Bible and God is simply monitoring the planet he created, and has been all along as the UFOs seem to have been doing for millennia right up to our present time, would that not seem more logical?

Oweeow.

If you believe in an alien race, separate from God and out of his control, and that alien race is setting the planet up for an invasion, or that Satan is in control of UFOs and using them to deceive us, then you must admit God is trying to confuse us, at best, or he is deceiving us, at worst. But, if these are the vehicles of the Bible and God is simply monitoring the planet he created, and has been all along as the UFOs seem to have been doing for millennia right up to our present time, would that not seem more logical?

Ow ow ow ow!

We do believe that there is a very powerful and evil force truly "alien" to human interests on the planet, right now, wreaking havoc. If you need proof of it, turn on your television or radio, or open your newspaper. In many areas of the world you just need to look out your window; either way, the proof is there. As long as we point to the skies to warn of an imaginary, impending threat, we will ignore the evidence of the real and very dangerous threats on our own planet, and Satan will be free to manipulate the entire world. Sadly, too few will listen, and too many more will heap scorn on the truth. Satan has the upper hand now, and nothing will stop him but the promise, the actual guarantee, of the real occupants of the UFOs to rid this planet of this menace.

Ouch owowow oucheeow!