Thoughts in a Haystack

A loved one is going through a difficult illness and, on top of the big issues, some smaller, but not insignificant, annoyances, exacerbated by bureaucrats, have cropped up to make matters worse ... okay, making the bureaucrat squirm was a minor consolation.

One thing that never occurred to me was that somehow the universe was interested. Neither I nor my love sense any animus or support, approval or condemnation from above and beyond.

Strangely, people fear indifference but I find it comforting. Life sucks ... and sometimes doesn't ... and sometimes is the exact opposite of that ... and then you still die. How horrible a thought it is that every sling and arrow we suffer was loosed by some anal retentive bean counter capable of making a cosmos full of wonder but obsessed with the minutia of the brief flickerings of ephemerals like us.

On the other hand, we have had many close friends and relatives -- good, intelligent and loving people -- tell us that they are praying for us. And I find myself genuinely grateful for their efforts. We may not think it will do us much good with the universe but it is comforting to bask ourselves in the warmth of their shared humanity.

That's all the holiness me and mine need.
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