Thoughts in a Haystack

Hee!

Barbara Forrest has been having some fun with Louisiana creationists and, particularly, with Casey Luskin, the Lou Costello of the ID Movement. Besides demonstrating, once again, that that the good, but perhaps ignorant, people of the Pelican State are fully aware the Louisiana Family Forum and the Discoveryless Institute are unrepentant liars when they repeatedly pinkie-swore that creationism had nothing to do with the politician-named "Louisiana Science Education Act" (you can always assume that a law will have the exact opposite effect of the label any politician puts on it), she gives a good history of the law and its connection to creationism.

As I noted before, the Livingston Parish School Board couldn't help but "pull a Buckingham" and blab their intention to inject creationism into science classes. Forrest imagines the telephne conversation between Luskin and Darrell White, the LFF's creationism "wrangler":

Casey Luskin: Hey, Darrell, you guys aren't sticking to the script. We've been over this a hundred times. Didn't you practice this with the school board ahead of time? You aren't supposed to mention 'intelligent design' and you darn sure aren't supposed to use the word 'creationism'! OK, one more time — here's how it goes: first, the Discovery Institute teaches the Louisiana Family Forum the code terms, and second, the Louisiana Family Forum teaches them to the school board. What's hard about that, Darrell?

So for Pete's sake, clean up your language down there! We spent all that time and energy helping you people out, and now you're screwing everything up! Get with the program. We told you how you were supposed to do this. Instead of using the word 'creationism,' your people on the Livingston Parish School Board — or Ouachita Parish, or wherever — are supposed to say that they simply want the public schools to help students engage in "critical analysis" or "critical thinking" about evolution. Or maybe they can say that the school board just wants to add the "evidence for and against evolution" or the "strengths and weaknesses of evolution." But none of this creationism talk, for heaven's sake! They're tipping everyone off! We already got our butts kicked once up in Pennsylvania!

Darrell White: Now, now, calm down, son. Everyone down here knows what's really going on, and most people are totally cool with it. Creationism, intelligent design, critical analysis, strengths and weaknesses. What's the difference? You and our other Discovery Institute friends already did your job by providing the template for the Louisiana Science Education Act — your "Model Academic Freedom Statute on Evolution" — and then lending us David DeWolf to help us tweak and sanitize our version of it so we could sucker the legislature. And on top of that, y'all were nice enough to send Caroline Crocker — a real creationist who's practically a movie star! — down here to testify for the bill. And then on top of all that, y'all helped us steamroll the DOE and BESE. We're mighty obliged, son. But you can let the grownups take it from here. We may talk slow down here, but we know what we're doing. It's gonna work out fine.

Casey: OMG — But let's get that code language into whatever **written** policy the school board comes up with, OK? And get the word out to your school board friends in other parishes. Can you at least handle that? Don't make me have to come down there again. OMG.

Casey Luskin: M...ister ... Mister White ... ? I wanna ... talk to you ... if it's okay ... about the Livingston Parish School Board ... if that's okay?

Darrell White: Vat does it matter? Look into my eyes ... deep into my eyes ...

Casey Luskin: Ummm ... but the courts ... the ACLU ... couldn't you just tone it down?

Darrell White: ... you are getting sleepy ... very sleepy ...

Casey Luskin: ... but ... but ... "evidence for and against evolution" ... "strengths and weaknesses of evolution" ... I'm sleepy ... very sleepy ...

Darrell White: [leaning over towards Casey's neck] You vill obey ...

Casey Luskin: BUD! BUD! Help!

Bud Chapman: What is it now?

Casey Luskin: I saw him ... Dracula!

Bud Chapman: You're dreaming again!

Casey Luskin: No, no ... I saw him right there!

Bud Chapman: You're crazy! ... But who's on first?

Labels: Designer As God, ID Not Religious

Link - Posted by John Pieret @ 10:25 PM