Thursday, July 15, 2010
In answer to the many prayers offered up all around the Gulf of Mexico, along with petitions from various state and local governments, the Almighty finally gave His permission for BP to stop the flow of oil from it's destroyed Deep Horizon well.
A spokesangel for the Heavenly Administration, when asked why it took so long to get the permit issued, seemed annoyed: "We get dozens of billions of prayers a day and each have to be evaluated for their content, urgency and worthiness for consideration. The Earth wasn't built in a day, you know ... and even the Big Guy needs a rest now and then. This Administration always works with all deliberate speed!"
The Demon Opposition, naturally enough, wasn't buying what it called "the 'bumbling bureaucracy' excuse for inattention and incompetence." Lucifer issued a statement saying: "This whole incident points up the need for smaller government of the universe closer to the people ... the kind our party can offer. It's crystal clear from any reading of the newspapers that real people much prefer what the Demon Party offers over any cradle-to-grave promises the Almighty makes."
When asked about Lucifer's statement, the spokesangel merely put his finger to the side of his nose and said: "Bad things can still happen to good people ... and everyone else!"
As a Christian, I would suggest that should say "... any cradle-to-beyond-the-grave promises the Almighty makes."